he's very pale green BUT NOT the Only one

i have a job interview tomorrow, so clearly i am wide awake at 2:45 am. luckily it's not til like 2 pm so i don't have to be up early. unluckily, i have no idea where i'm going so i'm basically just going to pray that i'm competent enough to manage the bus system here without knowing what my stop looks like/is near and without linda. if all else fails, i can take a cab. anyways, they called me today around 2:30 and scheduled this interview for tomorrow at 2 (welcome to china). they are also convinced that i am entirely too incompetent to get myself there alone, so they sent me a ridiculously long e-mail with directions and "kindly suggest" that i have a chinese friend bring me. they also suggest a cab. apparently i need a cab AND a chinese friend. whatever. i particularly enjoyed the opening paragraph of the e-mail, and i'm copying and pasting this:

Madam
   Generally speaking, you satisfy this open position well, BUT NOT the Only one currently.There would be an face to face interview about the details of yours and this position at 2:00 PM, Friday. Pls carry the copies of your resume, diploma and other available certificates. 

oh shit, you mean i'm not the only person interviewing for the job?? damn, i was really hoping to get a job that literally no one else was applying for, cause that's how you know you got a keeper. also, currently i am not the Only (note the capital) but i do hope to be in the future. if this job actually turns out to be legit and i get it, i will probably start making everyone refer to me as the Only. also, i know it's common practice to carry copies of your resume (which seems like a huge waste, as they already have it and every interview i've ever been on that i had to bring my resume to, they already have one printed out and marked on anyways. so why do i have to bring another? whatever). a copy of my diploma though? is that normal? as that is clearly in the states, i had my mom take a picture of it and e-mail it to me. she took a picture with her iphone, so it's pretty high quality, and i'm sure they'll be impressed. she also took a picture of my diploma propped up with framed pictures of me at graduation, as extra proof i guess? and then another of just the picture of me holding my diploma right after walking across the stage. thanks mom, i'll make sure to print that out as well, cause who doesn't want a cell phone picture of a bad picture of me wearing a silly graduation hat? they also encouraged me to save any receipts from my travel, cause i'll be reimbursed IF i get the job (again, their capital letters). 

anyways, the job "duties" are as follows: Consultant for International market localization and promotion in English speaking countries; offer the related local market background information for the department manager. 

 well, that's plenty vague enough. sounds like it could be cool though. or it could be total crap. again, the joy of interviewing with a chinese company in english. if nothing else, this interview should be quite the experience. hopefully not as awkward as the secretary job i interviewed for this summer where the guy showed me the pile of scrap paper that was actually invoices that had yet to be typed and sent to customers, had more mounted animals than employees, encouraged me to read self help books, and asked me if i could alphabetize (don't worry, he figured out i could cause i worked at blockbuster. you have to ask with the education system these days, a college education apparently doesn't mean what it used to). i'm also worried they want someone immediately, and breaking my contract would cost me like 2,000 USD so i don't plan on doing that unless some fabulous job falls in my lap where i will make more than 2,000 USD extra in the next three months. the ad says they could do part time though, so maybe i could work part time til june then switch to full time? i might be able to figure a way to squeeze it into my 3 hour work week....we'll see haha. this could also be some crap job where they want to pay me like 1,000 rmb a month (as opposed to the 5,000 i'm making now). but an interview is an interview.

in other news, i had an english teacher run up to me in the hall today to ask me a question. the exchange went something like this

english teacher: hello! excuse me! uh... stephanie.....

me: [blank look] yes?

english teacher: i'm sorry, i forgot your name

me: tricia [blank stare] er, marie

english teacher: ah yes, marie. i would like to know, do you say 'he is very pale green'?

me: huh?

english teacher: pale green. he is very pale green. is this right?

me: green? like the color?

english teacher: yes! yes!

me: ...er, what are you trying to say?

english teacher: er, you know. um, he is very pale green. she is very bright green. he is very green.

me: [confused look]

english teacher: like, if someone fights pollution

me: ah yes! green! yeah, we never say that. i have never heard someone say someone is pale green.

english teacher: no??!? but in the book...

and then i had to explain how to use the term green. seriously though, these books say things like "he is pale green"?? i couldn't tell if she was trying to say the guy was about to die of seasickness or was a tad envious. now that i think about it, i should probably know the book says that, as that's the book i teach out of. whatever, i have an excuse. i was pale green myself (of the sick variety) earlier this week when i was supposed to be teaching my kids about how to properly label someone as an environmentalist. 

also i taught my kids today slang. i got to hear a bunch of 14 year old chinese girls yell "whatever!" (complete with hand sign, duh) "that sucks!" and "yo, sup?" multiple times today. trust me, that's funnier if you teach english at a chinese middle school to kids that don't speak english.

anyways, i will stop rambling in this blog and try to sleep, as i have quite the busy weekend. tomorrow is another birthday out in shekou (aka- complete other fucking side of town from me) then saturday is the st. paddy's day pub crawl. i get a free hat, i'm pumped. i love things that involve free hats.