llamas and beer

so, i finished my weekend of teaching, thank god! and don't worry, i certainly didn't let the fact that i had class stop me from drinking heavily, both friday and saturday nights. friday we did the same thing we did last friday, which was stay in town after class, get dinner, and then start drinking around 6:30. i was actually doing pretty good about pacing myself at the first bar we went to. the never have i ever was busted out, and amazingly, i didn't really get called out on much. jess kept being like "if we were at home, you would be so out" but luckily, no one here knows what to say. when we were leaving that bar frank reminded me of the soco and lime shot he owes me for figuring out how to order one in chinese and how much it costs (basically, you point at the bottle of soco and say "SO CO! SO CO!" and then say "and the small green fruit" and make a sour face. it cost 30 kuai). anyways, they basically gave us a glass of soco on ice, and then 4 little slivers of lime. still, it was so delicious. after that bar we met up with the guy who taught our tefl class and some returners at this pool hall. there, i might have had a little too much to drink. this is well documented in my most recent facebook album. i will say, i really missed home because i happened to get myself in a situation i wanted to get out, and no one there was helping me out, despite my frantic hand signals. i know one of you would have saved me! or maybe taken pictures like jess did... hmm. 

saturday i had class at 2:40, but it wasn't too bad. after class i met up with everyone (linda, kate, and then evan and frank who were crashing at hotel yantian for the weekend) at a convenience store. basically, they went in this place to buy some beer and the guy whipped out a table and chairs and peanuts. but they had cold beer (which is a rare treat here) and it was air conditioned and they guy was super friendly and helped the beginners with their chinese so we stayed. it was actually really fun. anyway, at this point i'm like "well, i should take it easy tonight, because i have class at 10:20 am, i haven't planned anything, and i have four classes." all was going well, and i thought i was taking things slow, but one beer slowly turned into another. and there was dancing, which always makes me more drunk for some reason. i actually got really homesick dancing around to paper planes and american boy. 

anyways, then sunday i had class. seriously, i wanted to die. i hate those kids. as a whole, i actually really like some of them individually. i had two fucking out of control classes. my first class i had one kid, when i asked him what he was doing for national day, stand up and yell "HE SO POOR!! HE HAVE NO MONEY!!!!" at this other kid, who then proceeded to stand up and yell "NO!!! HE SO POOR!!! HE HAVE NO MONEY!!!" which was awkward and i didn't really know what to do so i just changed the subject. a little later these same kids stand up and one yells "HIS DAD DIED!!!!" and my jaw just dropped, until the other kid retaliated with "HIS WHOLE FAMILY DIED!!!!" so i assume this is not true? all of this was followed up by me asking another girl what she wanted to do for national day and she said "i want to die." i clarified. that is exactly what she said. my junior 2 class 8 kids were god awful as always. i walked in and they're basically having a rave complete with way too loud techno music and running amok around the room. it takes me 10 minutes to get them quiet enough to start class, and then at some point i realized the reason they were being quiet was because they weren't paying attention. at ALL. so i had put a picture of a llama on my flash drive as a back up since they flipped shit over my armadillo picture from last week. so i pop up this picture of a llama and no one reacts, so i say, "ok, you're talking too much. if you wanna talk, that's fine, but do it in english. if you're speaking english, you can talk about whatever you want. you can talk about tranny surprises for all i care, as long as it's in english" and they were still paying zero attention. so i proceeded to explain to them that llamas were very important to americans, and that on the 4th of july many, many americans get together and watch llamas walk around in circles. we love llamas so much because there were many llamas present at the signing of the declaration of independence. i don't think one kid noticed anything i said. i then pretty much gave up on the class as a whole and talked to these 3 girls about why they should speak english for the rest of class. which got me asked if i had boyfriend, and when i said no, all the boys in the back of the class freaked out. and then someone asked if i had a baby, and when i said "i dont even have a boyfriend! why would i have a baby??" the next question was "is your baby a boy or a girl??" so then i had to spend like 5 minutes clarifying that i have no children. someone this turned into one of them having 100 boyfriends and the other having 1,000 babies, but the one with all the babies was the baby of the girl with the 100 boyfriends. fucking absurd. then after class one of the little girls came up to me and goes "in class, you are very happy?" and i was like "well, everyone is much too loud" and she goes "hmmm.. but in class, you are happy with me?" and i said yes and she giggled and said "oh good! thank you!", bowed, and ran away.

i was fucking tired after that, but decided to go out to the beach anyways. it was actually much more fun than i thought it would be. we started out drinking at niko and ben's apartment, which turned into never have i ever and most likely again. this time around i got called out a little bit more, but not too bad. i still have a few sordid secrets left in my closet, haha. after that we went to this "bar street" where we were like, the only people there. like, i seriously think every other person there worked at the bar. but the weather was gorgeous and we danced around outside to the american music and life was good. we tried to go to the beach, but another typhoon is coming so it was blocked off. i just hope this doesn't fuck with our holiday in hainan. speaking of, i need to go pack and get ready to leave for guangzhou. and maybe book a hostel there for the night??